Anti-Bullying ~ Where To Start?

Tweet We all know bullying when we see it. We all know it is wrong. And yet we all have either bullied someone or been a victim of someone else's bullying or both.

There are as many reasons for bullying as there are bullies and victims. If a bully doesn't have a reason, s/he will find one. I grew up in a neighborhood that seemed to be full of bullies. One would throw rocks at me in the summer and ice balls filled with rocks in the winter. When I started crying, he'd call me a cry-baby. The only reason he did this is because he was a bully, and I was there.

On the other hand, my next-door neighbor was constantly annoying me. One day I had enough. I took off my shoe and started hitting him with it. I just wanted him to cry, but he wouldn't. The bullied had become the bully. And that's the way it often is.

Thank goodness I had parents who stepped in. When I was bullied, they would call the boy's parents. When I tried to be the bully, I was immediately taught right from wrong.

As for the boy who threw the rocks, I guess his parents didn't step in. About a year ago his name was in the paper for domestic abuse. It certainly didn't surprise me. I was only surprised that I hadn't read his name in the paper a long time ago.

There are no easy solutions for bullying. It has been around forever. Throughout history, there are stories of bullies. We all went to school with them. Sometimes they are parents or teachers or bosses. Wherever they are, everyone else must learn to deal with them. How much easier it would be to stop it at an early age as my parents did with me.

Schools and organizations are trying to combat the problem, but it will take everyone, including students, parents, churches, and the community. There are also programs that can help. A simple Internet search for "anti-bullying programs" will turn up quite a few. One place to start right now is with "No Name-Calling Week" January 25-29. You can register or get more information at http://www.nonamecallingweek.org . I'm sure it won't be the ultimate solution, but at least it's a place to start.

Grades For Money?

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Let me start today by first saying "thank you" to all the veterans out there. We appreciate all you have done and all you do.

Now on to the news item that shocked me today. I was watching the news and there was an article about a middle school in North Carolina that was offering students points on their grades in exchange for $20. It was meant to be a fundraiser, so it wasn't like they were actually selling grades, but that's certainly the impression it made.

I was appalled. What a horrible message to send to the students, even though I'm sure they were not as upset as I was. Whatever happened to ethics?

Just as I was ready to write, I checked online and discovered that others must have felt the same way I did. The school has decided against the activity.

I'm so glad to hear that. I really think an old-fashioned bake sale or car wash is a much better idea.

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5iwmFrT3fevg5SoQtJ_4oDnjqchxwD9BTBLLG0

http://www.newsobserver.com/news/education/story/185460.html

Excuse Me, But...

Tweet I used to have an old poster on my wall that read "I hate it when someone talks while I'm interrupting."

I thought of this poster last week. I was talking to a friend when another person came up to us and said, "I hate to interrupt, but..." And then she kept on talking. I listened for a while, to see what was so important, but didn't hear anything of interest or importance. I just walked away. Did she really hate to interrupt? I don't think so. I think she was just rude and didn't even know it.

It seems like there are constant interruptions during the day. The minute I sit down to a meal, there's a phone call. If I start to type on the computer, someone will knock on the door. If I sit down to read a chapter in a book, dozens of things suddenly need to be done around the house.

Interruptions keep you from getting your work done. When I was teaching, there were constant interruptions during the school day. There were phone calls from parents during class. An unscheduled assembly was suddenly scheduled. Messages were hand-delivered almost every hour. Announcements came over the central speaker systems at the worst times (like during a test).

Interruptions are annoying and irritating and I hate them, but what can you do about them? Complaining doesn't help. It may have some temporary effect, but within a short time, the interruptions will start again.

So what can you do? I've learned that you just have to accept the fact that you're going to be interrupted and roll with it. Oh, wait, excuse me. I have a phone call......

10 Ways to Celebrate Red Ribbon Week

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Red Ribbon Week starts today and continues until October 31.*  Organized in 1988, it is held every year to honor the memory of Enrique "Kiki" Camarena, a DEA investigator who was tortured and murdered in 1985 by a major drug cartel.  The campaign started simply with a few red ribbons attached to shirts or worn as wristbands.  It grew into a symbol for millions of Americans to show they are united behind a healthy, drug-free lifestyle.


Here are 10 ways to celebrate Red Ribbon Week:

1.  Host radio shows from local schools that are participating in the event.

2.  Decorate windows, classrooms, and offices with red ribbons.  Award prizes for the best

3.  Sponsor or participate in Wear Red Day.  Wear a crazy red hat or a neat pair of red socks. 

4.  Decorate Trick or Treat bags with drug-free messages on Saturday, October 31.  Make it a "Say Boo! to Drugs" Day. 

5.  Wear your red ribbon every day during the week.  Wear it proudly.

6.  Sponsor or participate in an essay contest or poster contest or coloring contest.

7.  Release red balloons with drug-free messages inside.

8.  Sponsor or particpate in a Drug-free Sports Day.  Send a drug-free message with a red parade during halftime at your high school's football game.  Have cheerleaders lead a cheer with that same drug-free message.

9.  Sign a pledge that you will stay drug-free.  Remember that drug-free means drugs, alcohol, and tobacco.

10. Reach out to someone.  Share a drug-free message with three different people during the week.

* The dates for Red Ribbon Week may vary depending on your location.  It is generally held during the last full week in October.

5 Quick and Easy Service Projects for Your Classroom

Tweet Saturday, October 24 is Make A Difference Day. It is a day to volunteer to do some service project for your community. The website http://makeadifferenceday.com offers many suggestions. However, Saturday is just a few days away and you don't have a lot of time to put any of those big projects into action. If teachers and students still want to participate, here are five quick and easy projects that can be planned in a few minutes.

1. Have children in older classes read to children in younger classes. This may simply mean taking a few story books across the hall and spending a little time with the younger kids. The littler ones love it and it gives the older ones great practice improving their reading skills.

2. Collect items to donate. Simply decide what type of items you want to collect and who you'll donate the items to when you're done. Gently-used books can be donated to libraries, hospitals, or care centers. Toys can be taken to domestic violence shelters or children's wards in hospitals. Canned foods can be collected for food pantries and soup kitchens. Old eye glasses can be donated to Lions Club. Even monetary donations can be collected to give to organizations like Make A Wish.

3. Have each student bring in blank greeting cards. Spend a few minutes writing personal greetings or inspirational quotes inside each. Sign them and deliver them to patients in the hospital or in care centers. These could also be mailed overseas to troops in Iraq or Afghanistan.

4. Each day have several students announce over the school's speaker system what they plan to do to make a difference on Saturday. They can ask others to join the cause. According to USA Weekend, October 16-18, 2009, "studies show that nearly half of all people who volunteer started because they were asked to by someone they know."

5. Have a quick bake sale. Each student in your class or organization brings baked food items. Sell them in the cafeteria during lunch or between classes. Donate the money to a worthwhile organization.

Again, as I said yesterday, there are many more ideas on the Make A Difference Day website, but these are the ones that can easily be done by a classroom of students in a short amount of time.

Also, with the H1N1 virus spreading as it is, check with hospitals or care centers before you visit. They may not be allowing visitors.

Make A Difference Day

Tweet Make a Difference Day is a national day of helping others. You will join millions across the nation as you volunteer in your own communities.

All week there will be announcements about service included in your favorite television shows on ABC, CBS, Fox, and NBC. It is the biggest week for volunteering during the year and culminates in Make a Difference Day on October 24.

Choose a project based on your community's needs, get others to join you, plan your service, and carry it out on Saturday. After you've completed your service, fill out an entry form available at http://makeadifferenceday.com/. You will then be counted among the millions who helped and will be considered for honors. Honorees may receive an award or donation so that they can continue to do their good works in the future.

So what can you do? Some suggestions on the website are: mentor a child, start a canned food drive, help at a nursing home, visit hospitals, make a special donation, collect items for a women's shelter, help at a local animal shelter, work at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen, donate blood, bake cookies to send to the troops, deliver cards to seniors, collect toys for needy children, and help clean-up a park. There are many, many more suggestions as well. Give it a little thought, and you're sure to come up with a fantastic idea.

One note that might affect your projects: Our local nursing home has been closed to all visitors due to the H1N1 virus. If you're planning your service project at a care center, check with them first. You may have to alter your plans a bit.

Canned Food Drives

Tweet It's estimated that one out of every 50 American children are homeless. That is equal to 1.5 million children, with 75% of them living in just eleven states.

More than 35 million Americans, including 12 million children, live on the brink of hunger.

Because of the upcoming holidays, many communities, especially schools, are now sponsoring canned food drives. Today would be a good day to gather items together. Then take them to school, or your local food bank, tomorrow.

http://www.homelesschildrenamerica.org/
http://forgottenharvest.org/

Seven Rules for School Lockers

Tweet When the subject of school lockers first popped into my head, I thought, "I don't even want to think about school lockers, let alone write about them. I've seen what they have inside them." Then I thought, "Oh, go ahead, it's probably information students, parents, and maybe some teachers need to know, no matter how gross it may be or unfair it may seem." So, here it is.

1. Don't share your locker with anyone. If the locker is assigned to you, you are responsible for what's in it. While we'd like to think our friends wouldn't put anything in there that shouldn't be in there, unfortunately, that's not always the case.

2. Don't tell anyone your combination. Also, be careful when using your combination because someone could be looking over your shoulder. Once they can get into your locker, nothing is safe.

3. Don't keep things in your locker that shouldn't be there. You are responsible for those items. Inappropriate or illegal items have no place at school, or anywhere for that matter. It is the owner of the locker who will suffer the consequences for possession of those items.

4. Don't put your books or other items in someone else's locker. Often times students will put their books in a friend's locker overnight because it's closer. The problems come the next day if that student is absent from school and you have no access to your things.

5. Don't leave open food wrappers or pop cans in your locker. These draw bugs. I've been at school at night and have seen cockroaches, spiders, ants, and even mice. I'm sure they make the rounds of student lockers looking for food and drink. If you carry your lunch to school, make sure it's wrapped properly, eat it that day, and take home or throw away any leftovers before you leave school that day.

6. Since school has been in session for a few weeks now, it's probably time to clean out your lockers. First, look through your papers. Some should be filed, some should be recycled, and there may even be some that should be turned in to teachers for a grade. Second, look for library books that need to be returned. And third, if you haven't already, it's probably time to take those gym clothes home for a good washing.

7. Remember that the school locker is the property of the school. School officials have the right to check lockers at anytime as long as they have provided their locker policies to students at the beginning of the school year. As it turns out, they can also check the contents of anything you leave in your locker. That includes your coat pockets, gym bag, purse, and backpack. As long as there is "reasonable suspicion," these searches are legal and have been upheld over and over in the courts. Students should expect no privacy when it comes to their lockers since school officials own and control those lockers. Even searches with dogs have been deemed legal. Random locker searches have also been done if there is a suspicion of drugs or weapons. Keep in mind, these searches are done to keep students and staff safe.

So, there it is. Now stay healthy, stay safe, stay happy, and keep your lockers clean.

Tell Someone, Anyone, Everyone

Tweet When I was in kindergarten, I remember my teacher telling me, "Don't be a tattletale." I don't remember what I had told her (or how many times I had tattled), but I do remember her response. Of course, that was over 50 years ago. My, how times have changed.

Today, students should never have to worry about tattling or "ratting" on someone. In fact, they should be encouraged to do so...whatever it is. If students see bullying or are bullied, if they see someone doing something illegal, if they see someone cheating, if they or someone they know is a victim of abuse or some other crime, they must tell someone. Tell a teacher, a parent, a minister, a policeman, or someone else in authority. And don't take "no" for an answer. If the teacher doesn't do anything, tell another teacher. If that doesn't help, tell your parents. Just make sure you're telling someone who can do something about the problem. If your teachers can't help, tell your parents. If they can't help, tell your minister or a police officer.

Students may feel helpless in these situations. Those that feel helpless might feel that the only way to handle the situation is with violence. But violence often ends up being a permanent solution for what may be a temporary problem. The solution is to tell someone. Be a tattletale. Be a tattletale until the problem is solved.

Conferences - Part Four

Tweet Communicate! Let the teacher know anything about your child that might affect his or her learning. For example, are there any disabilities such as ADHD or epilepsy? Is the child taking any medication that might affect his learning? You might think the teacher already knows about these things, but that may not be true. Let the teacher know what motivates your child, what does he or she like or hate about school, what has worked in the past with other teachers, and what do you do at home that works.

Ask about your child's grades, but remember there is nothing wrong with getting a B or a C. Almost every straight A student will eventually get a B or C in something. It happens. You may not like it, but for the most part, I think the child will be a little better for it. It is a humbling experience and one, in my opinion, that many straight A students need.

Remember to ask about other areas of your child's school experience...things like being a good citizen, being respectful, being responsible, having good character, working well with others, and caring about them. Often times, later in life, these are the things that will be far more important than the C they got in Algebra.

And finally, ask the teacher what they would like you to do to help your child be successful. They can offer tips on studying, homework, and time management. They may be able to provide you with study guides, course outlines, a syllabus, and directions to websites that will make the school year a little easier and more enjoyable for you and your child.

Citizenship

Tweet The sixth and last pillar of the Character Counts program is Citizenship. This means:

• Do your share to make your school and community better
• Cooperate
• Get involved in community affairs
• Stay informed; vote
• Be a good neighbor
• Obey laws and rules
• Respect authority
• Protect the environment

Citizenship is such a large part of a person's character, that there is often a place on scholarship forms to list community participation and school activities.

As I look back over the last week of blog topics from the Character Counts program, I realize how important these qualities are. We are judged by our character and we judge others by theirs.

A case in point is my neighbor. He's a middle-aged man who is obsessed with his yard. He waters, then mows, then waters, then mows. He uses herbicides, insecticides, fungicides, and probably some other "cides" I don't know about. His yard is beautiful. His character isn't.

I have a beautiful pine tree that sets back about ten feet from the lot line. The lower branches extended into his yard. About two years ago, he cut those branches off. Worse, he cut them off at the trunk of the tree on my property. He recently started cutting branches off another tree, again at the trunk. Of course, I had to confront him about this. Now I feel that I have to check my trees regularly because I can't trust him to leave them alone. This speaks to the "trustworthiness" of his character.

The second quality of character is respect, the "do unto others" part. I can imagine that he would be quite angry if I started cutting branches off his trees. He becomes very angry over many things. When we placed mulched leaves under the pine tree to cut down on weeds and fertilize the tree, he was livid. He demanded to know why we were doing that, that the leaves were going to blow into his yard. Since there is no sidewalk, people walk through his yard and he yells at them. He has even chased teenagers down the street swearing at them because they have walked through his yard. This speaks to the "respect" part of his character.

Responsibility is the third quality. This means using self-control and considering consequences before you act. Fairness means being open-minded, not taking advantage of others, and not blaming others carelessly. Caring is about being kind, compassionate, and feeling gratitude. And then there is citizenship...being a good neighbor and protecting the environment.

So, have I judged this man based on his character? Yes, I have. Is it right that I should do this? Maybe not, but I think we all do this. That is why it is so important to teach the values of good character to children when they're young. These qualities will follow the child throughout his or her life and they will be judged on those qualities.

Character will determine the kinds of friends a person has, the kind of job a person gets, the kinds of activities and interests a person will have, and the kind of neighbor that child will grow up to be.

http://charactercounts.org/sixpillars.html

Caring

Tweet The fifth pillar of the Character Counts program is Caring. This means:

• Be kind
• Be compassionate and show you care
• Express gratitude
• Forgive others
• Help people in need

Of course the first story that comes to mind when I think about caring is The Good Samaritan from the Bible. Two names that invoke images of caring for me are Florence Nightingale and Mother Teresa.

But there are so many more. The troops who protect our country are caring. The environmentalists protecting our wildlife, oceans, air, and natural resources are caring. Nurses and doctors care. Nursing home workers care. Teachers care. All who are working to make the world a better place care.

Just planting a flower so that the world is a little prettier, shows a person who cares.

Caring gives a person character. Be a person who cares about the important things.

http://charactercounts.org/sixpillars.html

Fairness

Tweet The fourth pillar of the Character Counts program is Fairness. This means

• Play by the rules
• Take turns and share
• Be open-minded; listen to others
• Don’t take advantage of others
• Don’t blame others carelessly

We all seem to notice when someone else is not being fair. It's a little harder to see it when it's us. Think about your actions and make sure you're playing fair, also. http://charactercounts.org/sixpillars.html

Responsibility

Tweet A third pillar of the Character Counts program is Responsibility. According to the program, this means:

• Do what you are supposed to do
• Persevere: keep on trying!
• Always do your best
• Use self-control
• Be self-disciplined
• Think before you act — consider the consequences
• Be accountable for your choices

http://charactercounts.org/sixpillars.html

Trustworthiness

Tweet There are six pillars of the Character Counts program. I've already talked about Respect. A second pillar is Trustworthiness. The principles of Trustworthiness are:

• Be honest
• Don’t deceive, cheat or steal
• Be reliable — do what you say you’ll do
• Have the courage to do the right thing
• Build a good reputation
• Be loyal — stand by your family, friends and country

I think if everyone aspired to these values, what a better world this would be. The best example I can think of took place at a restaurant. A friend of mine received his bill and had been overcharged. He was livid, called the waitress over, didn't quite make a scene, but made sure she corrected the ticket. She was pleasant and made the correction without complaint.

A couple of years later, we were at another restaurant. This time the mistake was on my bill. The waitress had forgotten to write down the iced tea I had. When I attempted to let the waitress know, my friend was once again livid, but this time with me. He said the mistake was her fault and that I shouldn't say anything; I should just let it go. Well, that's not me. I called the error to her attention. She was surprised and thanked me over and over, because, as she said, those mistakes came out of her wages. I did the right thing, the honest thing. And I felt good about it. I also learned a lot about my "friend" and his character.

Information from: http://charactercounts.org/sixpillars.html

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

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Aretha Franklin wanted it. Rodney Dangerfield never got any of it. What is it? Respect.

Rodney used to say:

"I don't get no respect. I told my landlord I want to live in a more expensive apartment. He raised the rent!"
"I tell you, I got no respect, even as a kid: we'd play hide-and-seek, and nobody would look for me."
"I get no respect at all. My dog keeps barking at the front door. He doesn't want to go out. He wants me to leave."

While the jokes are funny, showing disrespect isn't. As I watched the news during the past month, "respect" kept popping into my head. It led me to think of the way some students acted when I was teaching.

Some had no respect for themselves. They used drugs, tobacco, and alcohol. They were promiscuous. They cheated in their school work. They broke the law.

Some had no respect for others. They bullied and harassed classmates. They physically hurt others. They were mentally and physically abusive to their boyfriends or girlfriends or parents. They would talk behind their friends' backs.

Some had no respect for property. They would write in their textbooks or damage them. They would purposely destroy drinking fountains or faucets or toilets. They would use permanent markers on walls or paint graffiti on buildings. They would kick walls or doors or desks.

Some had no respect for authority. They would talk back. They would do eye-rolls or laugh when corrected. They were openly defiant.

If this lack of respect had just been attributed to the "problem" children, I guess I might have understood. Unfortunately, it was often the better students; the ones you thought were "nice," who secretly did the bullying, the cheating, the drinking and drugs, the damage to property, and the talking behind one's back. They were pleasant to their friends and teachers to their faces, but would later ridicule or complain about those friends and teachers to their parents or other friends.

I often wondered how this lack of respect developed. What made them like this? Then I thought about what has happened throughout American history. When the country was first settled, there was no respect for Native Americans. As the country grew, there was no respect for the slaves. As industry flourished, there was no respect for laborers who eventually had to form unions. There has been no respect for the environment and that has led to global warming. There has been no respect for the land and that has led to dumping of sewage and toxic chemicals. There has been no respect for animals that have been hunted to near extinction. The prisons are full of people who have had no respect for other people's property or lives. They are full of people who've shown no respect for themselves by using illegal substances. They are full of people who have cheated, scammed, or otherwise taken advantage. I'm beginning to think that such lack of respect is inherent and pervasive.

As I watched the town hall meetings this last month, I saw a lack of respect I could not have imagined. When parents and grandparents show such behavior, what can we expect from the children? I could not believe they would shout others down. Freedom of speech isn't just for your point of view; it means the other person with the other point of view has a freedom of speech, too. We may not like their point of view, and we may try to persuade them to see our side of things, but we must at least let them speak, just as we would expect them to let us speak.

"Respect means listening until everyone has been heard and understood, only then
is there a possibility of "Balance and Harmony..."

Dave Chief, Grandfather of Red Dog (Oglala Sioux) http://www.geocities.com/impurplehawk/quotes.html

The dictionary defines "respect" as a "sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability." It also means "deference to a right, privilege, privileged position, or someone or something considered to have certain rights or privileges; proper acceptance or courtesy; acknowledgment." (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/respect).

"Respect" is also one of the six pillars of Character Counts (a widely used program to build character in students http://charactercounts.org/sixpillars.html). The principles of "respect" according to Character Counts are:

* Treat others with respect; follow the Golden Rule
* Be tolerant of differences
* Use good manners, not bad language
* Be considerate of the feelings of others
* Don’t threaten, hit or hurt anyone
* Deal peacefully with anger, insults and disagreements

I think we all need to study the definition of "respect," learn the principles from Character Counts, and start practicing them in our every day lives.

Rodney Dangerfield jokes from: http://www.mustsharejokes.com/page/Rodney+Dangerfield+Jokes, http://www.rodney.com/archive/archive.asp